Watch: Brother JT – “Zabriskie”

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You guys out there might be asking, “Ryan, what is up with your bizarre infatuation with Brother JT?,” to which I’d reply, “Hey, none of your business, you nosy person.” Of course, come to think of it, it actually and literally IS your business, because you’re here, reading this right now. Taking time out of your day to pay attention to me.

So I guess I owe you guys an explanation, and probably an apology.

Apology first: I’m sorry I upset you. Let’s move past it, if we can.

Now, the explanation: You saw the “Hey boppa re boppa” video, right, the other video from Tornado Juice (Thrill SUPERFLY Jockey)? All that acid-head stuff, all the trippin’ balls? You know Brother JT did a song once called “Sweatpants” and another one called “Muffintop” (among thousands of other things, give or take)? You know he’s from eastern PA, just like me? Do you know what comes out of eastern PA besides acid-head garage popsters and transcendent music writers and, like, crayons?

Nothing good, probably.

So when something worthwhile does come out of there, you take notice. Take “Zabriskie,” a NEW video, in which the good brother portrays Count Orlovsky (Russian émigré) in an Ouija-enhanced encounter with Diamona Lil (clairvoyance). Spoiler alert, he gets William Tell’d. But not quite. Figure that one out for yourself — which is surprisingly easy to do if you just WATCH THE VIDEO.

“Zabriskie,” also a prime Tornado Juice cut, is another slab of Bro JT’s patented blend of leery lysergic rock, fit to slime its way into your earholes like an unbusted, hot-dog-eating poltergeist.

Yes, you read that right.

Watch: Brother JT – “Baked Alaska”

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Brother John Terlesky, the “Ornette Coleman of Easton, Pennsylvania,” is back with Tornado Juice on Thrill Jockey. Or is he? After spending an entire afternoon watching episodes of Trippin’ Balls with Brother JT [Editor’s Note: I don’t think this website exists, Ryan?] episodes, I can’t even tell if I’m here or not, let alone if Brother JT is, or whether there’s really a new album or even a thing called a “Thrill Jockey” or whatever. Is that me on the TV?

[rubs eyes]

There’s this video for “Baked Alaska,” though, and I guess it’ll have to do as proof of the existence of something, I guess, but hell, it’s a deep and dirty dive into the exact pool of incomprehensibility I’m already swimming around in. JT is cracked out. Who is Flip Jitney? Is this basically a commercial for Tornado Juice? The album keeps floating in the background. Is “Baked Alaska” a euphemism? I kind of want some “Baked Alaska” right now.

I guess the real question is whether or not you’re a serious person or a cartoon man who thinks “Hullabalooza” is still the funniest word in the dictionary you made up.

I’m the cartoon, and this is my MK Ultra.

OH BROTHER JT, I’M SO SORRY! IT WAS ME WHO STOLE THE BABY JESUS FROM THE NATIVITY SCENE IN FRONT OF THE BETHLEHEM PUBLIC LIBRARY. IT WAS ME, BROTHER JT! [sobbing] IT WAS MEEE-EEE-EEE…

That actually feels pretty good to admit finally.

But it’s a total lie.

That feels good to admit, too.

As does this: “Baked Alaska” is the “stop worrying about everything so much” rock tonic you need to dissolve the ramrod you got jammed up your serious-hole. Take it from me, a dude who went to high school with one of The Original Sins’ touring guitarists’ kids.1 That’s some goddamn street cred right there.

1. The Original Sins were Terlesky’s first breakout band.